Author: lovellama, aka Josephine
Main Characters: Teal'c, Jack
Spoilers: Window of Opportunity, Caddyshack
Summary: Jack introduces Teal'c to a game he's put his own spin on.
Word Count: 1,583
Prompts: Teal'c and Jack engaging in some ordinary human activity, with humor and snark, OR something involving Bra'tac…
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"I am still unable to comprehend the appeal of this particular diversion, O'Neill." Cocking his head slightly, Teal'c frowned at the TV screen while Ty urged Danny to 'be the ball'.
The old couch Teal'c was on creaked and sagged further as Jack plopped down next to him. "What's to comprehend? You get outside, whack a few balls around, have fun." Silence fell between them as Jack took a pull on his new beer and handed Teal'c another grape NeHi, both watching as Ty sank putt after putt, complete with sound effects.
"I refer to the ardor that those who take part in the sport appear to have for it," Teal'c finally replied some time later, setting his empty bottle next to three others on the coffee table, near Jack's propped up feet. Judge Smails was going apoplectic and Ty had just increased the bet to $40,000 each.
Jack shrugged. "It's like any other sport. Hockey, football, NASCAR- they all have fanatics. Golf's a little different 'cause it's got a lot of rich guys. Tell you what, I'll take you out next down time. See for yourself."
"You know how to… golf?" An eyebrow quirked as Teal'c turned to look at Jack.
"Yeah, well, once you reach Colonel it helps. Rich guys and military officers. You'll like it, it's fun."
As exploding C4 began to tear up the greens and the caddies went wild, a pleased smile pulled up the corner of Teal'c's mouth. "Indeed."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack adjusted his driving cap against the sun; pulling a wood from his bag, he used it to draw a ball from a spilled bucket at his feet. He peered down the range, then down to his ball, then back up to the horizon. Not usually one for dithering, Jack swung his club back and whaled on the ball; the two men watched as it sailed through the air and landed at the 250 yard mark before bouncing and rolling a few yards further. Satisfied, he drove a few more, each landing around the 250 marker. "Your turn, Big Guy."
Deliberately and consciously Teal'c echoed Jack's previous movements, teeing up, bringing the club back and following through with such force the ball was lost in the tree line at the end of the range, well past the 300 yard marker. A murder of crows erupted from an oak, and a few small brown blurs with long ears bolted from the brush, weaving and bobbing through the balls scattered like mines across the range.
"Show off," Jack good naturedly muttered, trying to ignore the curious glances of the other golfers. "Beat it, you're embarrassing me."
Not bothering to hide what looked suspiciously like a smirk, Teal'c picked up his bucket and moved to the adjoining tee. Smoothly setting up ball after ball, he set each one sailing into the now quiet vegetation.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I'm out." Jack came over to find Teal'c putting his club away. "Ready to hit the course?"
Before Teal'c could reply, a gangly teen darted forward, then back a step as Teal'c and Jack noticed him. "Um, sir?" His voice cracked on the last word, and a bright red flush crept over the boy's ears. "They, um, told me to te-- ask you if you could not hit the balls as far next time? The cart can't reach them? So I gotta go get them, and there's poison ivy in there…" The boy unconsciously scratched at his leg as the men turned to watch the cart putter along the range, sweeping up balls as others pinged off the cage covering the blasé driver.
"I will endeavor to do so," Teal'c replied, bowing to the boy, who gulped and nodded back before walking away.
"Here." Jack tossed a rectangular box to Teal'c who caught it with one hand. "Got you some balls." Teal'c opened the box to see a set of four balls with Apophis' symbol done in gold. He frowned slightly, and looked over at Jack. Jack held up a battered ball with a barely recognizable Army seal on it. "Cheaper than therapy."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"So?" After tossing his clubs in the back of his truck, Jack took a sip of the Coke he got at the 19th Hole and looked expectantly at Teal'c.
"It was… enjoyable. Strategic, yet physically satisfying also. I felt the lack of C4, however."
"Yeah, not much that can't be improved with judicious application of explosives. You gonna wanna play again?" The Ford's engine roared to life, and after buckling up Jack pulled out into traffic and headed back to the Mountain.
"It is tempting," Teal'c replied. "However…"
Jack glanced over at Teal'c to see him eyeing his clothing with suspicion. "Hey! These are tradition!" Jack groused, grabbing the material of his plus fours for emphasis. "Golf originated in Scotland so unless you want to go ancient school style and wear a kilt, shuddup."
"A kilt would be less confining," Teal'c commented serenely. "And I have been told I have 'the legs to carry one off'."
Luckily the road was deserted and Jack was able to bring the truck under control quickly, though the Coke sprayed across the window made driving the rest of the way difficult.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jack rubbed his face as Daniel blathered on about P4X-639 and Teal'c translated Ancient writing. Daniel's voice trailed off as he glanced over at Jack. "Exactly how many of these loops have you…have we been through?"
"I've lost track," Jack mumbled through his fingers.
"That must be frustrating."
Dropping his hands, Jack glared at Daniel. "Err, yeah!"
Daniel shrugged. "On the other hand, it's kind of an opportunity."
Jack and Teal'c looked at each other. "How's that?" Jack asked.
"Well think about it, I mean if you know in advance that everything is always going to go back to the way it was then… you could do anything for as long as you want without having to worry about the consequences," Daniel replied, getting excited at the prospect.
Jack stared at Daniel a moment, then looked back at Teal'c. "Excuse me."
Teal'c set the piece of chalk he had been using down, bowed to Daniel, and quickly followed Jack as Daniel sat there, surprised.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Dial the Gate, Walter!" Wearing his golfing outfit, Jack strode into the Gateroom with something that looked like a rolled up rug under one arm. Teal'c followed, carrying Jack's golf bag.
"Sir?" Walter's tinny voice came over the speaker. "We can't-- I don't have—"
"Just pick a place!" Jack flipped open the rug like object at the foot of the ramp, showing it to be astro-turf as Teal'c propped up the golf bag.
"How about Alaris, sir?"
"Just do it, Walter!"
"Yes sir!" The Gate spun, chevrons locking until the event horizon formed with a familiar whoosh.
"You first, Big Guy."
Teal'c teed up, and took his swing, the ball slicing slightly as it went through the gate.
"Yeah, that's how to play!" Jack and Teal'c traded places. "How far is Alaris anyway?" Jack asked as he readied the ball.
"Several billion miles, O'Neill."
"That's gotta be a record!" Jack took his shot, driving his ball down the middle of the Gate. "Tomorrow we should try this with hockey pucks and the iris half closed."
"Indeed." Teal'c drove another ball, this time correcting his slice.
"Nice one." Jack had lined up his shot and drew back when another voice came over the speaker.
"Colonel O'Neill, what in the hell are you doing?"
Jack spun around to face the Control room. "In the middle of my backswing!"
"You will cease what you are doing this moment! You're lucky I don't write you up on charges, Colonel!"
Slamming the club back in the bag, Jack stormed out of the Gateroom. "At least he won't remember any of this," he muttered.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"The course appears to be deserted, O'Neill." Teal'c got out of the truck, followed by Bra'tac. The pair looked around at the empty, weed choked parking lot as orange and red leaves swirled around their feet. A huge "Sold" and "Coming Soon: Luxury Homes" banner was hung over the course's sign. "And closed."
'When have I ever steered you wrong? Don't answer that," he told Bra'tac. "Trust me."
Carrying their bags and one large briefcase, they ducked under the rope preventing anyone from entering, and silently made their way to the 3rd green. This was an open area, smack dab in the middle of the course.
"Right here." Jack dumped out some balls and they spent a few idyllic moments whacking the balls into the setting sun. As the last one fell to earth, Bra'tac turned to Jack.
"As much as I enjoy this game you introduced to me, why are we here?"
"Because of this." Jack opened the briefcase and lifted off a layer of foam. Under it was a few dozen plain while golf balls. Gently he picked one up and placed it on a tee. "Watch."
Jack's swing sent the ball flying; it laded with a thud and not a second later exploded in a mini fireball, dirt and sod raining down over the large hole in the ground. Turning to the Jaffa, Jack grinned. "So?"
Teal'c teed up one of the balls and sent it flying. It too exploded with a dull boom, and he smiled. Bra'tac sighed, but he also teed up, and satisfied expression crossed his lined face as his ball detonated.
The sun set on the trio, as the sound of C4 and Kenny Loggins filled the night air.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~